7.26.2007

ODE TO THE COLONEL








So this is a first. I've never had a guest post on Memoirs, but this is it. The very first one. Prepare yourselves for brilliance.

My lovely fiancé has a gaggle of some of the most adorable nieces and nephews I've ever seen. And my future brother-in-law, Brian (and his wonderful wife Nikki), has two of them named Emma and Alaina who apparently love fried chicken.

And this is their story:

Our night of gourmet delight began humbly in the Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) drive through at 7:02 PM on the evening of June 15, 2007. Although the menu was quite extensive, we made the final decision to order the 10 piece meal, half regular, half extra crispy (Is there any other way!), with our two side dishes being mashed potatoes and cole slaw. We also needed to feed our two children, so we ordered an extra side of macaroni and cheese.

Our total bill came to an exact $21.00 which we promptly paid via debit card. The service at the KFC was extremely friendly albeit slow. Nikki and I, based on past experience with this particular restaurant, felt that the wait would prove to be worth it. Upon receiving our order we were also given two granola bars for the twins. Such a delight! And for free no less!

Before leaving and in anticipation of the four biscuits included in our order, we made sure we left with adequate condiments. A very large offering of honey and butter packets answered our request and we departed the drive through posthaste to our home to begin this copious culinary concoction.

Upon arriving home, we unloaded the contents to find something truly awful…there were no biscuits! An oversight of unimaginable proportions. Short of returning to said KFC and killing all workings involved in this blatant act of biscuit deprivation, we jointly made the decision to move forward … without the biscuits. KFC had a very deep hole to climb out of with us.

With the biscuit fiasco of ’07 behind us, we began the dispersion and subsequent ingestion of chicken, cole slaw, and mashed potatoes (w/gravy if there was any doubt). As for beverages, I chose a Heileman’s Old Style whereas Nikki chose a Diet Coke Zero.

My impression of the chicken was classic KFC - moist, bursting with flavor and delightfully breaded. 10 out of 10. The mashed potatoes were equally delicious - very consistent. Lastly, the cole slaw unfortunately failed to live up to its billing. Too dry upon initial tasting. Although to its credit, it improved as we moved to the bottom of the Styrofoam container.

The drink that I choose for this meal, Old Style, I would not recommend. Obviously a terrific stand-alone beer, but not one I would mix with this type of meal. I found it to be more of companion for beer or possibly a bratwurst. Next time I would most likely move to a Leine’s summer wheat, or potentially as far as a Diet Dr. Pepper. Very tricky meal to find an appropriate accompanying beverage.

Overall a good dining experience. Would do again. AAAA.

I haven't contacted Brian to discuss the subtleties of his rating system, but I'm going to assume four A's is a solid score. I think we have KFC in the city, right? With a review like this, I'm pretty sure I'll need to find out sooner than later.

NOTE: Meena reminded me ... our KFC was rat infested. Saw it on the news. Can't do it.

4 comments:

Dan said...

that was amazing. nice job brian!

there's totally a KFC on 4th Ave. We'll have to get familiar - I'm on guard to ensure any blatant acts of biscuit deprivation won't be happening to us!

Allison said...

ahhahahahhaah, that was awesome

Brian said...

I haven't used work like that since high school. I need to have a beer and recharge myself.

Brian said...

work shoud be "words".